The Creeping Vine of Change

As I sit here on my couch this morning, surrounded by still stacks of laundry calmly waiting to be put away, I'm thinking about change. More specifically, the change that is taking over my life, as it really can't help but do. I'm kind of amazed how how much I love and live for the slow the growth of my plants outside - faithfully watering each morning, exclaiming at first sprout, watching the unfurling of leaves, loving the stretching out of branches - but can't stand to see any measure of change unsettle my little world.

In about two weeks and two days, Adrian and I are moving. This first little apartment that so kindly agreed to be our home for our first year of marriage will no longer be ours. In about four months, Adrian will start seminary (Lord willing), and the next years of our life will be some of uncertainty, busyness, and not spending quite so much time together (actually that will start in about two weeks and four days when Adrian start commuting to work). I'm loathe to allow change in. I find that I face even small changes either by ignoring them or getting angry. Ann Voskamp says, "All these years, these angerings, these hardenings, this desire to control, I had thought I had to snap the hand closed to shield joy's fragile flame from the blasts. In a storm of struggles, I had tried to control the elements, clasp the fist tight so as to protect self and happiness. But palms curled into protective fists fill with darkness. I feel that sharply, even in this...and this realization in all its full emptiness: My own wild desire to protect my joy at all costs is the exact force that kills my joy."

Do you know this? Have you felt this? Are you experiencing this now? The irony of this statement kills me. When I fight to protect my joy, I kill it. No! I'm making myself joyful. Do you know what joy is?

The last two mornings I have gotten to Jeremiah 9, vs. 3 and stopped, not able to read more: "...for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know me, declares the Lord."

Do you know your Savior? Do you know who He is? This is what I asked myself this morning. Do you know God?  Because He gave up everything for you, everything, enduring the cross, scorning its shame, for the joy set before him. The great joy. The joy of seeing the Father's face.

This morning I'm looking for glimpses of His face. Let me tell you a little bit of a different story.

In two weeks and two days, Adrian and I have the privilege of moving for three months to a small guesthouse on a vineyard. It's beautiful. I invite you to come stay with us this summer and enjoy it with us.

Adrian has just been awarded more than 50% of his seminary tuition at Westminster! What a gift.

I am in the midst of writing my second newsletter for the printing company I work for and it's my favorite part of my job. Not only this, but I get to take my job with me when we move because I work from home. So blessed.

God has just graced us with rain this morning and my plants outside are loving it! I took a moment to admire the way the raindrops hung on the leaves and right now I see the sun fighting through the clouds and making an appearance. 

I have had the privilege this week of praying with my husband every day for our two sisters who are still in college and the school we love so dearly. Tomorrow morning I get the privilege of hearing my husband speak in chapel. I can't wait to hear him speak the Word of God.

What are the glimpses you see this morning?